


Catch me if you can

by ChasingGh0sts



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-03
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-02-24 00:49:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2561948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingGh0sts/pseuds/ChasingGh0sts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen is a police officer for the NYPD, he is currently working the Serial Killer Sheppard case and is searching for Sheppard's newest victim, Jensen's Husband Misha Collins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter One_ **

* * *

  
"Do we have any leads on him yet?" Jensen rubbed the bridge of his nose looking around at all the other police officers with blank stares on some of their faces as they looked up at the board with the pattern of the killing's and kidnappings on it, our latest one was about a month ago, a 19 year old boy got taken in an alley leaving nothing behind but his cellphone and wallet on the ground.

"We might have a lead on Adams, but we haven't gotten anything on the Sheppard case." Osric slapped some papers down on the desk rubbing his head, "The last killing that piper did was last month, and that's when the last kidnapping happened as well. We don't have any new solid evidence that will lead us to him," Osric stood up walking to the board scratching his head in annoyance.

Osrics right, we have squat. Sheppard hasn't been doing anything for an entire month Jensen." Jim groaned scanning through all of the files about Sheppard. i shook my head clearing my throat looking up at the clock on the wall, we've been at this case for hours now without anything new.

"Let's just take a couple minute break" osric and Jim agreed sighing heavily. i yawned scratching my chin standing up out of my chair stretching my arms above my head pulling open the office door standing in the doorway, "Coffee's on me, who's coming?" I turned my head in their direction watching them both drop what they were doing and following me out of the room.

"How's the case coming boy's?" Alona walked past us grabbing our attention, we all shook our heads sadly watching her expression change from hopeful to disappointed. "Nothing? at all?" she slapped her hands to her side giving off a angry vibe, "well just keep looking, i have to work on the missing 3 year old case, catch you guy's later." She sighed heavily strutting away from us back to her desk in the corner scanning through files some more.

"She's not in a good mood," Osric muttered shaking his head, i nodded continuing to walk through the office checking up on all the other officers. No one could blame Alona for being in a bad mood, she's been working on that case for a couple weeks now none stop with the parents of the child bitching at her for nothing finding their kid yet.

"everyone let's go!" Lauren yelled hustling officers through the office shoving her gun into the holder on her side. I exchanged a look with Jim, looking back at Lauren with confused gaze.

"Lauren what's going on?" i yelled over the sound of officers boots drumming against the floor.

"There's been a new killing, let's go!" She yelled at me walking down the office halls with her unit, "Get your group together, we think it's Sheppard!" she yelled over her shoulder disappearing around the corner.

"Jensen let's go!" Jim yelled following Lauren and her unit down the hallway, Osric and i ran back into the office grabbing our badges and coats running back after Jim and Lauren climbing into our police cars flashing our emergency lights following closely behind Lauren until we reached the crime scene with police and fire fighters already there investigating.

I stepped out of my car watching Jim and Osric to get out of theirs walking towards the yellow tape showing our badges to the officers bending down underneath the tape.

"Osric and i, are going to go talk to some officers Jensen," Jim informed me walking off with Osric to a couple of officers talking by the ambulance.

"Nice to see you again Jensen," Jared greeted me beside the body covered by a bloody white sheet. "You think it's Sheppard?" He looked down at the body with his hands shoved into his suit pockets, i slowly knelt down lifting up the sheet staring at the 19 year old boy that we have been searching for, for months now.

"Dammit.." Jared looked down at me concerned at the dark expression on my face,"This is the last abduction that Sheppard did," i rubbed the bridge of my nose covering the body back up and standing back up correctly.

"So this means Sheppard is searching for a new Victim," Jared spoke in a quiet tone staring at me inventively, "I'll alert the other officers and agents, we'll catch him Jay." Jared patted my back fleeing off towards his group of F.B.I agents informing them of the situation. I sighed sadly walking away from the lifeless body laying on the ground, shoving my hands into my pants pocket dragging my feet over to Osric and Jim.

"The victim is Sheppard last abducted, meaning he's on the move for a new person to take." Osric gave off a dark expression groaning in frustration. Jim shook his head looking past me at the body being put into a body bag by paramedics.

"That son of a bitch." Jim spat grinding his teeth, i cleared my throat looking over at Lauren waving for her to come over to us. Lauren quickly dismissed herself from her group of officers walking over to us with worry radiating off her.

"What did you find out about the victim?" She raised her eyebrow in curiosity watching the paramedics carry the body bag past us. a lump in my throat formed as the ambulance loaded the body into the back of it, driving away. "Jensen?" she gently tapped my shoulder getting my attention.

"Sorry, The body was Jake Abel. He was abducted last month by Sheppard." I cleared my throat avoiding eye contact with anyone looking down at the ground scratching my chin.

"Sheppard is most likely looking for someone new now," Jim added in, Lauren nodded sadly furrowing her eyebrows pushing past me, her shoes tapping all the way to where the body was found, bending down picking up a small piece of paper that looked like it was crumpled into a little ball. I turned watching her strut back over to us holding the paper out in front of her.

"Catch me if you can." She glared passing the paper around to me, i scanned it gritting my teeth together handing it to Osric who handed it to Jim with a angry expression crossing his face, we all exchanged angry looks knowing that this meant Sheppard was on the move for someone new.


	2. Chapter 2

 

_**Chapter two** _

 

* * *

__

 

"We need a better approach to this situation," i groaned walking into the office sitting down in one of the chairs huddled around the table. Jim scratched his head scanning through Jake Abel's file once again, looking for any sort of pattern or clue that we missed.   
  
"Wait i think i might have something!" Lauren flipped through Rachel's file pulling out all of her information, Rachel was one of the city's most known girls, she slept with anything with a heart beat. "If you look here and the day she was taken and then look at the other victims times of abduction, they were all taken on the 1st of every month." Lauren looked up from the papers exchanging looks with everyone in the room, "He's getting someone new tomorrow."   
  
"Son of a gun" i groaned rubbing the bridge of my nose, "We need to work. Now." i spat, everyone nodded flipping through all the files about Sheppard we could get our hands on. I think we all rummaged through at least 100 files of this man and still have found squat. 

"I need a break." Osric flipped shut his last file rubbing his temples, i sighed nodding slowly; Maybe a break would be good. "Ill be back in a few Jen." Osric brushed past me, walking out the office doors into the lobby without another word.   
  


"Jensen you look like a zombie, maybe you should clock out." Jim patted my back standing behind me, i yawned shaking my head, someone's life is on the line here.  
  
"I'm fine Jim, i'll just call him and tell him im gonna be in late." i yawned getting out of my chair walking out of the office dialling Misha's number pressing my phone against my ear.  
  
"Jensen, hey- hi uhm when are you coming home?" Misha stuttered through the phone, oh how his voice made my knees go weak.   
  
"Hey Misha, that's what i called about. We might have found a break in the case and i might be late getting home." I frowned leaning against the wall, looking down at the ground.  
  
"Oh. That's ok. I'll be waiting for you, I love you." I could feel the disappointment running through his voice as he spoke.   
  
"Can't wait, I love you too Mish." I weakly smiled hanging up on him sliding my phone into my pocket, walking back to the office room. "Anything?" i coughed pushing through the doors, Lauren and Jim looked up from their papers shaking their heads. I groaned rubbing my eye walking over to them peering over Jim's shoulder staring at Jake's un covered body and all of the cuts, scrapes and bruises littering it. 

"This guy is brutal," Lauren stared almost rendered speechless by the amount of damage done to this poor kid. "There has to be a pattern for the kidnapping's, Jake was a good kid." Lauren shook her head sadly, i nodded walking back to my chair staring at the crumpled note in a zip lock bag .  
  
"Guy's agent Sampson told us to clock out, she's getting her team to continue the research to see if they can find anything." Osric leaned in the doorway with dark bags under his eye's. I sighed nodding looking over at Jim and Lauren sigh relieved, neither one of us could keep our eye's open for much longer.   
  
"You sure she has someone?" i stood up shoving files back into my briefcase slamming it shut, Osric nodded assuring me that people would be on the case as soon as we left the station. "Alright, Goodnight agents." i yawned waving goodbye to Jim and Lauren then Osric, walking out of the office into the lobby. I yawned pulling my car keys out of my pocket, fiddling with them in my fingers as i walked outside feeling the cool air smack me in the face.  
  
"Have a goodnight Jensen!" Jim walked past me patting me on the back, "Don't worry about the case too much, we have good people handling it right now." I nodded giving him a faint smile.  
  
"Goodnight Jim, see you tomorrow." I yawned unlocking my car's door climbing inside, setting my briefcase on the passenger seat and sliding the key into the ignition hearing the engine roar to life. I slowly pulled out of the parking spot beginning to drive down the main road pinching myself every couple of seconds making sure i don't start falling asleep. I sighed relieved as i pulled up in front of the house parking in the driveway turning the engine off and pushing the door open stepping back outside into the cold air.   
  
"Hey Jensen! sorry i know it's late. But did you and Misha want to come over this weekend for a barbecue?" Charlie, our neighbor ran up to me in the drive way with a grin spread across her lip's. I gave her a lop sided smile nodding.  
  
"I'll let you know later, i'll ask Misha." Charlie nodded slowly walking back across the street to her house. i yawned walking up the steps of the house slowly opening the door, making sure not to wake misha in case he was sleeping.  "Misha?" i spoke faintly kicking off my shoes locking the door behind me. "Mish?" i looked around poking my head into the living room, to see him laying on the sofa knocked out cold. I smiled peeling off my jacket, walking over to him staring down at him baby like face. I slowly knelt down placing a soft kiss on his cheek feeling him shift underneath me, "Well look's who's awake." i snickered flashing a warm smile down at him.  
  
"Jensen, when did you get back?" He smiled sitting up looking at me with his tired blue eyes. "How was work?" he mumbled rubbing his eyes kicking the blanket on him off, i shrugged my shoulders rubbing my eye.  
  
"It was ok. Can we just go to bed?" i yawned, Misha could clearly tell though that today wasn't my greatest day. He nodded standing up, pulling me up with him and taking my hand in his pulling my upstairs into the room.   
  
"Stop worrying." he mumbled un buttoning his shirt tossing it onto the ground, snaking his arms around me from behind. "It's not your fault with what happened today." He whispered in my ear placing tiny kisses on the back of my neck making my knees start to shake.  
  
"I know, let's just sleep." i mumbled, misha pulled apart from me unbuttoning my shirt tossing it to the side placing a quick kiss on my cheek.  
  
"You look tired, cmon." He smiled tangling his hand in mine crawling into the bed pulling me behind him. I yawned pulling the blankets over top of us cuddling up against Misha's warm body, tangling  my leg's in his. "I love you Jensen." Misha looked down at me kissing the top of my head.

I smiled lightly looking up pecking his lips, "I love you too, Mish." 


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

  
  
"Cas babe, wake up." i grumbled giving misha a small shove to wake him up, "Mish," i gave him a little shake hearing him groan trying to roll away from me. "Are you really rolling away from me." i raised my eyebrow pulling my famous bitch face, "C'mon Mish i gotta go to work." i whined rolling him back towards me.  
  
"Why do you need to go so early today?" Misha frowned opening his eyes looking up at me, i sighed shrugging my shoulders brushing pieces of hair out of his face.  
  
"It's an important day, sorry Mish." i leaned in kissing his cheek, slowly standing up but feeling misha's hand grab mine pulling me back down, "Babe, i have to--" He pressed his lips against mine pulling me onto the bed with him, crawling on top of me running his fingers through my hair lightly tugging on it. "Misha- i have to go, later ok?" i mumbled pushing him away lightly, "Tonight alright?" i winked with a small smirk spreading across my lips. Misha sighe nodding pecking my lips one last time, crawling off me reluctantly.  
  
"What time are you getting off?" Misha sighed watching me crawl off the bed, putting my work clothes on. "Jay?" Misha raised his eyebrow, snapping his fingers to get my attention.  
  
"Sorry, day dreaming. I dont know when but it wont be as late as yesterday, ok? now i have to go, have a good day at work." I smiled pecking his lips a good 5 times before pulling away from him. "Alright i have to leave, want me to drive you to work?" i raised my eyebrow with a small smile. Misha quickly looked over at the clock nodding. "I'll be downstairs." i kissed his head walking out of the room, jogging down the stairs and walking into the kitchen pouring myself a cup of coffee, listening to Misha's feet patter down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"Can you help me with this.." Misha groaned holding a tie out in front of him, "I can't do it." he pouted, i chuckled setting my coffee down on the counter taking the tie from his hands, putting it around his neck tying it.  
  
"There you go, i thought you knew how to tie these?" i snickered raising my eyebrow, He shook his head looking at the ground with a blush creeping on his face.  
  
"I always bought clip on's" he sighed, i bit my lip holding in my small amount of laughter trying to escape but the more i looked at Misha staring at the ground the more i wanted to laugh. "If you laugh i swear." Misha looked up shooting daggers at me, i threw my hands up in defense smiling at him biting down on my lip again once he gave me his bitch face. "Jensen.." Misha glared crossing his arms over his chest, i shook my head bursting out in laughter watching Misha tap his foot annoyed."I'm walking." he rolled his eyes turning on his heel walking towards the front doors.

"Wait, B-babe!" i stuttered running after him, wrapping my arms around him from behind picking him up spinning around.   
  
"Jensen, Put me down!" Misha whined trying to remain serious but only ended up laughing. I chuckled setting him back down on the ground quickly moving in front of him placing my hands on his hip's.  
  
"Im sorry i laughed. Forgive me?" i smirked leaning in so i was inches away from his face, he rolled his eyes pecking my lip's nodding.  
  
"I guess i can forgive you, But we have to go or you're going to be late." He smiled sliding out of my arm's and towards the door shoving his shoes on. "Let's go jay!" he yawned shaking his head grabbing his coat. I nodded walking over to the door shoving my shoes on and quickly grabbing my coat off the rack.  
  
"Alright let's go." i smiled pulling open the door letting Misha walk out first with me following closely behind him shutting and locking the door behind me. "What time's your shift start?" i yawned jogging down the steps unlocking the impalas doors climbing inside, moving my briefcase to the back seat so Misha could sit down.   
  
"it starts at 9, ends at 11 tonight." He yawned pulling his seat belt across him, i nodded turning the car on, slowly backing out of the driveway beginning to drive down the road towards downtown. "It's kind of late, but i suspect you won't be back by then" Misha sighed laying his head against the window. I frowned reaching over grabbing his hand tangling my fingers in his rubbing his hand with my thumb.  
  
"I'll be home as soon as i can baby, i promise." i looked over flashing him a smile, he nodded grinning looking out the window watching all the buildings and tree's flashing by us. "Alright this is it, have a good day. I love you Mish." I smiled parking in front of the local bar, Misha sighed un buckling himself leaning across the seats pressing his lips against mine, pulling away a few seconds later.   
  
"I love you too Jay, i'll see you at home." He smiled getting out of the car waving goodbye to me as he walked through the bars front doors disappearing. I sighed continuing to drive down the road, until i reached the station pulling into a parking space near the front close to the station.  
  
"Morning, Jensen." Lauren greeted me as i got out of my car slamming the door shut. "There's a meeting in a few minutes about the case. You might want to go to it." Lauren gave me a weak smile, i nodded sighing. I didn't really want to think about the case anymore, Sheppard always knew what we were going to do before we actually did something.   
  
"Yea, i'll be in there in a second." i huffed walking with her through the station doors walking through the lobby and the office until we reached the meeting room. "Morning Jim, Osric." I flashed a quick smile sitting down in one of the chairs surrounding the table.   
  
"Morning Jen, have a good night?" Jim raised his eyebrow taking sips of his coffee, i nodded setting my briefcase on the table in front of me, "How about you Osric, have a good night?" Jim sighed, Osric shrugged his shoulders rubbing his head.  
  
"I was up all night looking through these files and i know im missing something, i can feel it but i cant find what im missing!" Osric groaned laying his head down on the table.  
  
"Alright boy's, start looking through these files. We have a couple hours until the next person goes missing." Lauren sighed dropping a stack of new files of people that are connected to all the victims.  
  
"Lauren, someone will be taken by the time we finish all these!" Osric yelled pointing at the stack of papers sitting in the middle of the table.   
  
"Osric, by looking through these we could find a pattern. So shut up and start looking." Lauren spat sitting down at the end of the table taking a couple of files from the pile. "you guys need to read too," she glared at me and Jim, we nodded each grabbing about 10 files scanning through though one every 2 hours. Reading all these files was taking longer than expected since everyone kept getting annoyed by all the reading we had to do. I yawned looking at the clock seeing 11:01 appear on the clock.   
  
"Has anything happened out there yet?" I directed my attention to Lauren leaning back in her chair, she yawned shaking her head.   
  
"It's quiet, too quiet." She sighed getting out of her chair walking over to the coffee machine starting a new batch. "Who's phone?" Lauren turned on her heel glaring at all of us as my phone vibrated in my pocket.   
  
"I need to take this," i mumbled getting up out of my chair, pulling my phone out of my pocket pressing it against my ear. "Misha- Hey i might be a little later then expected."  
  
"Jensen please come home." Misha whispered in the phone with fear echoing in his voice. I furrowed my eyebrows feeling my heart start to pick up it's pace.  
  
"Mish, What's wrong?" i looked over getting concerned looks from Osric and Jim. "Misha?" i repeated with a more serious tone.  
  
"I got home after my shift and the front door was open a little, so i just thought you got home early and didn't close the door all the way but it's not you Jensen, please come home." Misha cried into the phone.   
  
"Where are you Misha, im coming right now with back up. Don't move." I listened to his breathing hitch as he struggled to respond, "Misha, where are you." I growed.  
  
"In the room, i didn't know where else to go, Jensen please hurry." My heart dropped listening to him sob on the phone, clearly scared out of his mind.   
  
"Someone's in my house with Misha, Osric, Jim.Let's go." i hissed keeping the phone pressed against my ear, Osric and Jim jumped to their feet following me out of the office into the lobby. "Misha are you still there?" i tried to keep my voice from shaking as we all got into our cars booking it out of the parking lot, skidding down the main road. "Misha?" i yelled hearing the line get cut off. "Damnit!" i yelled throwing my phone across the car slamming my foot on the pedal leaving skid marks behind me. I swung around the corner slamming on my brakes as we pulled in front of my house with the front door wide open. I kicked my door open, pulling my gun out of my belt running up the steps and inside the house with Jim and Osric pulling up to the house moments later running in the house.  
  
"Go upstairs jensen!" Jim yelled holding his gun in front of him as he walked into the door way going into the kitchen. I didn't argue with him, i held my gun in front of me as i kicked open my Bedroom door staring in horror as the bed was flipped on it's side, and the lamps were smashed on the ground with splotches of blood littering the carpet.  
  
"Misha!" I yelled running around the room, looking underneath everything big enough for misha to hide under but saw nothing. "Misha!" i yelled running into the other rooms trashing them all, still not finding him.   
  
"Jensen, nothing downstairs!" Jim yelled running upstairs into the room i was in ripping  apart. "Jensen stop, you've looked all over!" Jim yelled grabbing my arms to stop me from throwing anything else.   
  
"He's not in the basement." Osric huffed running up the stairs shoving his gun back in his belt, "He's not here Jensen." Osric frowned, i ripped my arms out of Jim's grip throwing my gun at the wall screaming.  
  
"You Son of a bitch!" I screamed smashing my fist into the wall, creating a hole, Jim and Osric yelled at me grabbing my arm's holding me back from doing anything else.   
  
"We need to leave, now!" Jim growled pulling me out of the room and down the stairs, "Jensen stop!" Jim yelled throwing me on the against my car's door."You are going to calm down, we are going back to the station and we are going to figure this out. Understand!" Jim screamed at me.  
  
"Jim Sheppard took-" Jim quickly cut me off shoving my in the back of his car slamming the door behind me, "Jim!" I yelled with anger burning me alive.  I growled watching Osric jogging off to his car starting to drive back down to the station, Jim soon following him. 


	4. Chapter 4

I groaned regaining conscience, feeling the cold hard ground underneath me, and the tremendous pain throbbing on my head. I coughed placing my hand's on the ground in front of me, pushing myself up off the ground so i was sitting upright against the wall squeezing my eyes shut to avoid the bright light shining on the roof giving me a migraine. I winced moving my leg's, pushing my body up off the ground standing there for a moment breathing in slowly. I squinted seeing a door along the wall a couple meter's beside me, dragging my body towards it trying to twist the handle but it wouldn't budge.

"You can try and get out all you want, but it aint opening." A quiet voice mumbled across the room near the corner, "Iv'e been trying that all day, and can't get it." I quickly looked over my shoulder at the tall short red headed girl leaning against a wall in the corner.

"Where are we?" i looked around the small dark room being lit up by a small light in the center of the room. "Hello?" i chooed looking at her taking a couple steps closer to her tilting my head.

"Were in some sort or warehouse im pretty sure, By the way my name's Felicia." She pushed herself off the wall, walking around back and forth from wall to wall a good 20 times, "What's your name?" She stopped in the middle of the room walking in circles around me. I cleared my throat, watching her walk around me over and over inspecting me.

"U-uhm my n-names Misha" I stuttered giving her a small weak smile. She nodded walking back to her corner sliding down the wall drawing shapes in the sand form the cement. "How long have you been here?" i raised my eyebrow walking over to her, flopping down on the ground next to her hugging my knees close to my chest. She shrugged her shoulder with a small smile crawling on her lips, as she shook her head looking at the ground. I furrowed my eyebrow's not understanding what could possibly be so funny causing her to smile.

"Couple months at least, ive been waiting for the police to find me and the other but they aren't going to find us." She snickered laying her head back against the wall, squeezing her eye's shut. "Their getting rid of someone tomorrow, anyone of us could go. Even you." Her smile dropped, as she sighed heavily throwing a small rock across the room watching it ricochet off the wall back onto the ground. 

"We won't die, they'll find us." I muttered laying my head on my knees closing my eyes, I knew Jensen and his unit would find us. Jensen wouldn't let this slide, When he find's this guy he's gonna have his head on a stick. I yawned feeling a vibration in my back pocket going off over and over again. "There's service down here?" i mumbled reaching behind me pulling out my now crackled screen staring at the school with over 50 missed calls and text's from Jensen.

"No no no what are you doing!" Felicia growled looking at me in horror as i tried dialing Jensen's number. I shook my head ignoring her pressing the phone against my ear hearing the line connect, "You're going to get us killed!" she hissed flickering her eyes to the door watching the door handle start twisting. "He's coming," She whispered shuffling away from me quickly to the other side of the room shoving her head in her hand's.

"You sorry son of a bitch." A bigger man kicked open the room door, shooting daggers at me stomping over swinging hit foot into my rib cage, ripping the phone out of my hand's smashing it on the ground. I groaned coughing looking up at the man, face bright red with anger radiating off him. 

"Not as sorry as you're going to be" I shot him a glare, watching him swing his leg back into my ribs knocking me over on the ground, grabbing my head and smashing it into the cement over and over again leaving a tiny pool of blood where my head collided with the ground.

"Try anything like that again and i'll have to killed on the spot, understand!" He yelled pulling my head back so i was looking at him, i nodded feeling him give me one last blow to the side before walking out of the room slamming the door behind him locking it.

"You idiot." Felicia muttered staring at me in horror as i struggled to sit up, "You could have gotten yourself killed!" she hissed, i shrugged my shoulders laying on the ground catching my breath again.

"But im not dead," I gave a weak smile tilting my head in her direction, fighting to keep my eyes from closing shut. "How did they know what was going on?" i spoke bearly above a whisper feeling my eyes forced themselves shut.

"Misha Stay awake," Felicia yelled crawling over to me slapping my cheek, pulling me back into reality. "If you want to live, you better stay the hell awake understand." She glared, sitting me up against the wall. 

"The last guy who acted like you was killed a couple day's ago, so i would change the way you act if you want to live longer than tomorrow." Felicia glanced back over at the door, staring at a short bearded man standing in the doorway with two men in black suits by his side.

"Get the boy, and follow me." His brisith accent was strong as he looked at me, with a small smirk. I winced feeling the two men grab my arms pulling me to my feet dragging me out of the room leaving Felicia alone again in there. "You were quite the challenge to take, you know that?" he pushed open a door allowing his gaurds to take me into the room, throwing me into a chair restraing my arms and legs down putting a piece of duck tape over my mouth. "You may leave now." He shooed the two men away walking in front of me looking down at me. "I assume you know who i am, i mean your Husband has been loosing his mind over me." He smirked, "Am i right?"

I shot him a glare, turning my head in the opposite direction avoiding eye contact with him. I could hear him sigh walking around the room grabbing a little cart from the corner wheeling it over to me, pulling gloves on his hands. I shivered in fear staring at all the knives and scissors laying on the cart with specks of blood coating them.

"Now, we get to my favorite part of this process. The torture."


	5. Chapter 5

"So how does this feel Misha?" He smirked evilly dragging a knife across my chest making me groan in agony. The joy that this man get's out of seeing others cry out in pain is horrendous. "I can't hear you?" He cooed, dragging the knife across my skin again pressing harder against my skin.

 

"Go to hell." I growled shooting daggers at him. He sighed taking a step away from me, dropping his bloody knife on the silver cart beside me. A sense of relief flew over me as he seemed like he was done slicing me open.

"You know Misha, that's rude to say since im giving you mercy." He shrugged his shoulders, "this is nothing, compared what im going to do to you." He hissed stepping closer to me. I breathed in tensing up feeling his fingers trail across my face, "You know, i would've thought that your husband would've found me by now. I mean he's been looking for me, for what a year now?" He chuckled smiling, walking in a circle around me making shivers shoot down my arms. "It was really foolish of you to try and contact Jensen. Did you not see the camera's in the room darling?" He knelt down in front of me, raising his eyebrow in amusement. "You know, i think it's time for someone else to have their turn with you." He smiled reaching beside him grabbing a needle flicking it a couple time, "Good luck." He smirked stabbing my arm pushing a blue liquid into me.

I groaned watching him toss the needle across the room walking towards the doorway talking to a bigger man. I sighed, looking around the empty room, seeing nothing but dust and dirt littering the ground. My eyes fixed on the cart sitting nest to me with the knives and scissors laying across it. I quickly looked over my shoulder watching Sheppard continue talking to the bigger looking man, i bit my lip trying to reach the cart to grab the small knife near the edge of it. I cursed under my breath wiggling my wrists to try and loosen the restraints holding them down to the chair, making it difficult for me to move. I pulled at my wrist feeling the restraints slowly loosen the harder i tugged at them, soon enough they were loose enough for me to pulling my hand out of it and to grab the small knife shoving it into my pocket before Sheppard came back into the room again. 

"Today's your lucky day kid," Sheppard walked back into the room with a large smile plastered on his face, making me sick to my stomach. "Hades here is going to take care of your for a bit." He smiled, i glared turning my eyes to the large man standing beside me eyeing me up and down. "Take him away." Hades obeyed Sheppard's orders undoing the restraints holding my legs down, i glared at him as he got to eye level to undo my arm restraints. "Lux, go with him to get the girl. Bring her back to me." I shot a glare at Sheppard making him giggle. 

"Let's go." He rasped grabbing my arms, pulling me out of the chair forcefully dragging me out of the room and down the dirty hallway. I jerked my arm trying to get out of his grip but it wasn't going to work, this man was twice the size of me in height and muscles. "Get in," He spat pulling my room door open throwing me on the ground. "Red head, let's go." Lux walked into the room stomping past me grabbing Felicia, walking back out of the room dragging her to the room fighting against her kicking and screaming. I groaned looking up Hades stepping into the room closing and locking the door behind him, shoving the key into his pocket. 

"If you're going to kill me, do it." I groaned standing to my feet shooting him a death glare. He rolled his eyes walking around me laughing quietly, making me nervous. I shuddered feeling his fingers trail down my arm and his breath hitting my neck sending unwanted shivers down my spine. 

"Now, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." He slid his hand's around my waist from behind slithering his hand's up my shirt, i growled jerking myself out of his grip, turning and throwing a punch at him. "Really, Misha?" His sickening smile faded to a frightening frown as he grabbed my arm twisting it behind my back, pressing my against the wall, licking down my neck with his free hand traveling to the front of me fiddling with the top of my jeans. "Ready to co-operate?" He hissed in my ear lightly biting at it, i reluctantly nodded feeling him spin me around so my back was against the wall, His hip's now rubbing against mine. "That's what i thought." He smirked shoving his leg between mine to keep me in place as he kissed down my neck undoing my pants zipper sliding his hand down them. I frowned immediately feeling disgusted at the thought of him touching me, i slid my hand into my pocket gripping the knife slowly sliding it out of my pocket. 

"you're good," i glared down at him raising the knife, shoving it through his back making him yelp in pain. "But not good enough." I spat pulling the knife out of him shoving him on the ground watching the blood stream out of his mouth. I breathed heavily, staring at the now dead man in front of me, watching the life drain from his eyes. "Key.. key.. key.." I mumbled dropping beside him, fumbling through his pockets until i found the small key in his front right pocket. I quickly crawled to the door shoving the key into the lock twisting it, and slowly pushing it open poking my head down the hallway making sure no one was in it. 

I jogged down the hallway, holding the knife by my side looking out for anyone walking around. I slowly turned the corner walking quietly down it, quickly walking past the open room doors. I poked my head into a room quickly moving back against the wall feeling my heart start to beat faster, hearing Felicia's screams as Sheppard was doing the same thing he did to me. "Move on Misha." I whispered to myself quickly moving past the door, feeling sick knowing that i left her to be tortured. I walked down the hallway, turning around the corner seeing a door at the end of it. I quickly looked behind me, booking it down the hallway no caring if anyone saw me or not, the door was right there and i was about to get out. I ran huffing and puffing as i pushed through the doors feeling the bright light flash in my face blinding me, i grunted continuing to run across the dirt filled field running to the fence keeping me caged in, but at this rate i was going i feel like i could jump over it. 

"You stupid son of a bitch." I spun around seeing Lux standing a few yards away from me in the doorway, face bright with anger. I quickly began climbing the fence as he started sprinting towards me screaming my name. I yelped feeling his grab onto my ankle pulling me off the fence, letting me fall to the ground, smashing my head on the hard ground. "Now you're in trouble." He hissed as i slowly began blacking out.


	6. Chapter 6

"Jensen you've been on this case non stop for a whole week.." Jim rubbed his face sitting beside me with a heavy sigh. I sighed rubbing my temples leaning back into my chair. "Jen, go home. Relax." Jim slid his hand on my back with a light pat. Jim was right, I've been sitting in the office for a whole week. Misha's been on my mind this entire week, i don't know what's happened to him, or if he's even alive. 

"I know Jim, but i haven't been able to go back to the house. it reminds me to much of mish. I let him get taken, Jim." I frowned rubbing my face. I could feel Jim's gaze on me as i slowly closed Misha's case file. 

"I know it's been hard Jensen, but we will find him. He'll be fine." Jim assured me, with a small smile. I gave him a weak smile nodding. He was right, Misha was a strong guy, He could take care of himself pretty well but that didn't stop me from being scared for his life. "I'm heading home right now, feel free to come by if you need to talk some more. I'm sorry this happened Jen, you don't deserve this." Jim sighed quietly with a frown. 

I watched him get out of his chair, pulling his brief case off the table with him as he walked out the door shutting it quietly. I breathed out running my fingers through my hair staring at the case in front of me. Jim was right, i should go home, i need to face the fact that i let him get taken, it was my fault i didn't get to the house fast enough. I popped open my brief case, sliding the thin files into it, closing it quickly. 

"Hey, you clocking out?" Alona popped her head into the room with a small smile on her lip's. I nodded giving her a quick smile pushing all of the chairs in around the table. "How you feeling?" She slid through the door shoving her hand's awkwardly into her sweater's pocket. I shrugged. To some people i would be considered 'ok' but to others, i was far from it.

"I'm fine, thanks." I grumbled pushing in the last chair clearing my throat. Alona nodded pursing her lips, rocking on her heels. "Everything alright with you?" I furrowed my brows grabbing my brief case off the table walking in front of her. 

"Well -- I mean like-- yea. I'm ok." She looked up at me forcing a weak smile. I nodded slowly watching her continue to rock back and forth avoiding contact. "Listen, Jen. If you need a place to stay tonight, because you can't handle the house yet." She offered a kind smile. 

"Thank's, Alona. I'm sure i'll be fine, i'll call you if i need anything." I smiled weakly pulling her into a tight hug. I pulled away from her, pulling open the office doors allowing us to step out of the office, and into the main office. "I'll see you tomorrow." I waved her off walking through the office and through the lobby until i reached outside. I shivered at the cool air smacking me in the face as i walked through the darkness towards the car parked along side of the street. Not many people were out at this time of night but if anyone was out they would be the type of people to be hiding from the police. I slid inside my car enjoying the warmth that was kept inside of it as i slowly drove down the road towards the house. 

It's not your fault Jensen  
It's not your fault Jensen  
It's not your fault Jensen

Was all that was running through my head. It was my job to make sure that Misha was safe and i failed and now he's with Sheppard who's doing god knows too him. i pulled in front of the house staring at it taking a deep breath before climbing out of the car, walking up the steps to the house fiddling with the keys in my fingers. I forced myself to unlock the door pushing it open revealing the destroyed house just as it was left. My knees shook as i closed the door behind me kicking off my shoes, walking around, staring at all the things thrown around the room, littering the floor. 

"God damnit.." i muttered under my breath rubbing the bridge of my nose squeezing my eyes shut to avoid everything around me. "It's ok, It's ok." I whispered dropping my hands to my sides, dragging my feet into the kitchen. The kitchen didn't get too affected by what happened, it was still fairly clean and looked how me and Misha left it in the morning. I sighed leaning against the kitchen counter pulling out my phone dialing Alonas phone number, staring at it before pushing the call button. 

"Hey, everything alright?" Alona's voice rang with concern as she picked up the phone almost automatically. I breathed in quietly nodding my head slowly.

"Yea, im fine. It's just it's hard coming back to the house and i just needed someone to talk too." I mumbled biting down on my finger nails, biting them to nubs. "For a cop, im pretty damn sensitive." I couldn't help but let off a weak laugh. 

"Jensen, i think everyone would be in a bad state of mind right now if this happened to them." Alona snickered through the phone. I grinned nodding looking down at the ground. "I'm sure you'll find him soon. You're a great cop Jen, you've solved more cases than most of us and once you find him you can have the pleasure of locking him away." 

"Yeah, i guess you're right. Thanks for talking Alona, i really needed someone. I'll let you go now." I spoke barely above a whisper as i rubbed my nose. "I'll see you tomorrow at work. Night." 

"Goodnight, Jensen. Feel better." Alona hung up the phone quickly. I huffed sliding the phone into my pocket, pushing myself off the counter walking out of the kitchen and up the stairs staring at the holes in the wall. I shook my head ignoring the fact that it looked like a war that happened. I pushed the bedroom door open, biting my lip walking inside flopping down on the bare bed. 

"I'll find you Misha, i swear to god."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter being so short, next one will be longer :)

  
  
I sat down stairs on the couch watching the television screen light up the dark room with light, listening to the reporter talking. All that's been on the news is reporters sitting outside the station, waiting for me or some other officer to come out and answer questions about Sheppard and how we haven't heard from him in a week. Can't blame them for wondering though, I'd be scared too if I haven't heard of a killing in over a week from the most known serial killer.  
  


 

I've been spending most of the night cleaning up the mess that was left behind from the intrusion, broken glass was everywhere, mirror shards were scattered across the kitchen floor, picture frames were knocked off the walls leaving them cracked until you couldn't see what the picture was behind them. It was painful to clean up, I stepped on glass every time I took a step, but staring at the mess around me made my heart seem like it was going to drop into my stomach.  
  


 

"Son of a bitch!" I hissed sitting down on the floor, pulling out a large piece of glass out of my foot, "Great." I cursed under my breath shoving my face in my hand's, brushing off the ringing phone echoing through the house. Why did this have to happen to me? to Misha? to us? He doesn't deserve what's happening to him.  
  


 

"Hey, Jensen. It's Jim. Just wanted to check up on you and see if everything's going alright. Call if you need anything." I sighed heavily listening to Jim's concerned voice ringing out of the answering machine. I breathed slowly standing to my feet, hissing at the shot of pain that traveled through my foot and up my leg as I limped into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of vodka from the fridge making my way back down the hallway to the door. I shoved my shoes on my feet, leaving my jacket, ripping the door open and stomping out of it slamming it behind me, hobbling down the stairs popping the cap off the bottle chugging it back as I entered the drivers seat of the impala. listening to the engine rumble as I drove down the street chugging back more and more of the bottle. Snapping in and out of my thoughts, hearing car horns echoing through my head and car lights burning my eyes.  The steering wheel sliding through my fingers, Listening to the radio blare through the speakers. The Police sirens ricocheting in my head, The flashing lights glaring at me. The air bag punching me in the face, The car door being ripped open. People carrying me out of the car, People putting me into an ambulance. The voices yelling 'Hang in there!', The shocks shivering through my body. Jim and Alona's tear stained faces flashing by my eye's, the white room. The beep that seemed to never end, the darkness.    
  
  
  


"Jensen, wake up. Open your eye's." I breathed fluttering my eye's open, focusing on the blurry person kneeling beside me. "Hey, baby."  
  


 

"M-Misha-" My eye's filled with water, as I sat up pulling my husband into a hug, holding him as close as possible to me. "I missed you so much." I quivered, tangling my finger's in his hair, breathing in his scent again.  
  


 

"I missed you too, Jensen." He whispered in my ear, close to tears. Running his hand up and down my back, gripping my shirt. This was all I wanted, I wanted to be in his arm's again, I wanted to feel safe and secure. I wanted him more than anything.  
  


 

"Where are we?" I pulled away from him, looking around at the house I first lived in, that burnt down to the ground due to a kitchen fire. "How did we get here, how is this not-"  
  


 

"Were in heaven, Jensen. This is your heaven, it's everything that makes you happy." Misha cupped my face, rubbing my cheek with his thumb with a grin spread across his lips. My heart dropped, as I looked around me watching mom sit at the kitchen table with sam, in her arms wrapped up in a blanket humming 'Hey Jude' to him, just like she did with me.   
  


 

"Were dead?" I chocked on a tear, looking at the heart broken face of Misha. He shook his head slowly sitting down on the ground beside m, taking my hand in his.  
  


 

"You're dead, I'm still alive down there. You need to wake up, I need you." Misha's face started deforming into black eye's, cuts and scrapes, dried up blood around his nose and forehead. "Wake up."  
  


 

"M-Misha, o-oh god-d im sorry-y" I chocked on the tears flowing down my face like Niagara falls. Misha shook his head wiping away all the tears on my face leaning in pressing his lips against mine, pulling away slowly staring into my eyes.  
  


 

"Wake up."  
  
  


 

"Doctors! He's waking up!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Misha, Baby please don't leave!" I cried clinging onto Misha for dear life, watching the white walls around me crumble. "I don't want to go back, I want to stay here with you!" Misha wrapped his arms around me burying his head in my neck, squeezing me tightly before pushing himself away from me.

"You need to go Jensen, I need you." Misha shoved himself away from me, looking around quickly at the walls collapsing around us. "Goodbye Jensen." Misha put his hand on my forehead blinding me with a bright white light and a ear shattering noise. Causing me to clap my hand's over my ears dropping to my knees, squeezing my eye's shut and tight as I could. Soon the ear shattering noise stopped and was replaced with unfamiliar voices, and a repetitive beeping.

"Welcome back." I slowly opened my eye's staring at a blurred face hovering above mine. "You were out for quite some time, people thought you weren't going to come back." The nurses face became clearer, Her short black hair falling in her face, and her smile lighting up the room.

"Where am I?" I grumbled staring at her with confusion,

"You're in the hospital, you were in a accident." She gave me a sad expression, "Almost died, you would have if the other person hit didn't call us."

"Are they okay?" A wave of guilt washed over me, I could have killed this person but they still called to try and save me. "I didn't kill them right?"

"No you didn't kill them, they're all okay." She smiled at me pulling a chair up beside my bed. "What's the last thing you remember?" she raised her eyebrow crossing one leg over her other, with a clip board in hand.

"I don't remember anything other than seeing a bright light." I sighed frowning, rubbing my hand down my face. I lied. I remembered everything, I remember crashing the car, I remember seeing the bright headlights and the ambulance taking me away, but most of all I remember seeing Misha again.

"Well the procedure went as planned and you should be fine in a couple days to a week, Be careful on that arm." She gave me a stern look, almost frightening. I nodded quickly watching her walk out of the room, catching up to one of the doctors down the hall. I huffed looking down at my body covered in tubes draining liquid from me. How could I be so irresponsible, im supposed to be someone people can look up too and trust, how is everyone going to react knowing someone in the force was almost killed in a drinking and driving accident.

"Hey, Jen." Jared's voice mumbled from across the room. I turned my head looking up at him standing in the door way with a tear stained face and bags that look like they've been there for years under his eye's.

"Hey, Jared." I gave him a light smile, my eye's following him as he walked across the room over to a chair located beside my bed. "You look worse up close," I gave him a smirk with a chuckle.

"Thanks..." He laughed lightly, "How have you been? like, are you feeling okay?" He frowned crossing his fingers together, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I've been good, been better but im good." I forced a smug look, "So, how's the case going." I sat up straighter in the bed staring down at Jared looking away from me. "Jared."

"They found a new body the night of your crash, a young red headed girl. Looked 20 at least." I squeezed my eye's shut biting my lip at the news, she was so young for her life to be taken in such a brutal way. "Found in a ditch a couple minutes from your place, bruises around her neck and wrists and cuts and scrapes all over her body. they're finding out who it is at the lab right now." He spoke softly.

"Was there a trail? anything unusual-"

"Jensen, you just got out of an accident. Worry about yourself for right now." Jared cut me off, trying to sound as nice as possible. I know I should be worried about myself, but im not. I want Misha to be okay, he doesn't deserve this.

"I can't just 'not worry about it' Jared. My husband is missing and possibly dead, I can't get that out of my head for a god damn second." I snapped, taking him back. "He need's me, and I can't help him because im stuck in this place where they won't let me go out of my room without supervision because they're scared that im going to run off and do something stupid." I frowned holding back some of the tears fighting to pour out of my eye's. 

"I'll be back." Jared frowned, getting out of his chair with a frown spread across his lips. 

"Jared- Jared im sorry!" I yelled at him, but he brushed me off continuing to walk out of the room out of my sight

 

A/N:

I am so sorry that it took me forever to update this. I've had the worst writers block in the history of writers block and I feel extremely bad, but here's the next chapter, it's not that great but it's going to have to work for right now.


	9. Chapter 9

Jared left and never came back into the hospital room 3 days ago, I don't know if he hasn't come back because he's mad at me, or if he's busy with the case and other things. Tess tried to call him from the hospital thinking that if the hospital called him, that he would pick up and talk to me, but he never picked up.

"How you doing today Jen?" Tess stumbled into the room with a smile spread across her lips, "The Café was out of chocolate chip, so I got you oat meal if that's okay." She gave me a lop sided smile handing me a cookie tucked away inside a baggie. Tess has been supporting me through this all, she doesn't treat me like every other patient that she tends too, she treats me like she's known me for her whole life.

"It's fine, I like oat meal too." I chuckled taking it out of the bag, taking a couple bites of it dusting the crumbs off me every bite. "Any news on when im getting out?" I raised my eyebrow at her, she huffed pushing over a chair to the side of my bed flopping down into it.

"You should be getting out tomorrow," She grinned, "But you still have to come back in a couple weeks to get the cast off." She sat up straight in her chair, pointing directly to the neon blue cast covering my arm.

"Finally." I groaned throwing my head back into my pillow, "I'm tired of this place! no offence." I quickly jumped to defense, Tess knows how much I want to get out of here and get back on the case to find Misha.

"I still expect you to stop by every now and then, I need someone to keep this place interesting." She chuckled pulling her hair behind her ears, "I'm proud of you, not many people would've made it through what happened to you, but you somehow did." She grinned, I smiled at her. "You up for one last game of uno?"

"Bring it on," I wiggled in my bed, sitting up straight crossing my legs in front of me grabbing the deck of cards sitting on the small table on my left.

"It is my goal to beat the master before he leaves." Tess smirked cracking her knuckles picking up her cards scanning them, "You first," I shrugged my shoulders tossing down a blue 2.

The game went on for a good hour, Tess kept on dropping +2's and +4's, but in the end I still beat her.

"Ugh, the master cannot be beaten." she sighed heavily dropping her cards down into the pile that formed on the end of the bed. "Well, I should get heading back and actually do my job." Tess laughed shaking her head, I nodded smiling.

"Have fun working!" I snickered at her walking towards the door, turning the handle looking back at me with a playful glare.

"Don't tell me what to do." she grumbled, "Get some sleep." she smiled at me walking out and closing my room door. I sighed heavily cleaning up the mess of cards littering the top of my bed. I was still wide awake, I already knew that I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, I had so much on my mind. I mean, I always have something on my mind. It's always the same thing, Misha. I couldn't stop thinking about when I died, I saw him in heaven. Does that mean he's dead? am I trying to do all of this for someone who's already dead? is this even worth it? No matter how many times I asked myself these questions, it was always worth it. No matter if he's dead or not, I need to know the truth.

 

"Good morning Jensen!" Tess kicked the door open with excitement, catching me off guard nearly causing me to jump 7 feet out of my bed. "Scare you?" She raised her eyebrow with a lop sided smile.

"Just a bit," I chuckled regaining my breath, sitting up straightly in my bed. "Am I allowed to leave soon?" I asked eagerly. Tess dropped her clip board down on the end of the bed, checking all the machines around me before answering me.

"Yes, you're allowed to leave around 12." She smiled down at me, un hooking all of the needles, and wires connecting to me. "Jesus, I never realized how many of these there were." She groaned pulling out the last needle putting it into a bucket with the other, what looked like 20 others. "I called Jared and he said he would come and pick you up, being as your car is still destroyed." Tess looked at me with a small smile, screwing a lid onto the bucket carrying it across the room setting it onto a table.

"You got a hold of him?" I instantly shot my head up, looking at her with excitement.

"It was difficult, but yes." Tess nodded going through the cabinets gathering new bedding to put on this bed once I leave. "He wasn't to impressed when I practically spammed his phone with calls, but once I explained why I was calling, he was all ears." She walked over setting the bedding down on the end of the bed. "Man, im gonna miss your face around here." Tess sighed heavily dropping her shoulders, "Who will keep me entertained now?" a frown crawled across her lips.

"I'll stop by every chance I can get," I smiled at her with a chuckle, she grinned nodding. "I should get ready, It's almost noon." I yawned, I managed to get about 5 minutes of sleep last night, which doesn't seem to be enough.

"Your clothes are washed and in the bathroom," Tess mumbled tearing off the bed sheets from underneath me as I got off the bed. I nodded trudging my feet over to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I groaned stretching my arm's over top of my head, dropping them to my sides staring at the small pile of folded clothes on the toilet seat. Some of the holes from the wreckage were still there on my shirt, but most of them were sewn shut, Tess probably attempted to sew them all up since Jared didn't bring me any new clothes. I cleared my throat stripping out of my hospital clothing, pulling my new, well semi-new clothes on afterwards. You could still see tiny blood stains near the bottom of the shirt, but they weren't that noticeable, only noticeable if you pointed them out.

"Tess, did you try a sew some of these?" I called out to her from the bathroom scanning the shirt.

"I attempted, I don't think I did very well." She chuckled back at me, I smiled shaking my head taking the comb off the counter and running it through my hair quickly before opening the door walking back over to the bed helping Tess put on the new sheets. "Thanks," she giggled brushing strands of hair out of her face. "Don't know how im gonna last knowing that you're out of here." She rested her hands on her hips with a loud sigh.

"I wont be gone for long," I chuckled walking around the bed to her pulling her into a warm hug. "I'll be back for visits." I whispered in her ear with a small smile. All Tess was supposed to be to me was the nurse that kept me alive until I was well enough to leave, but during this stay she became one of my closest friend's. The girl practically knew everything about me, going back to when I moved here, when my parents moved away, to when I realized I liked guys, to when I married the man of my dreams. She knew everything.

"Im gonna miss you," She grumbled giving me a tight squeeze before pushing me away, "It's almost noon, are you ready?" she raised her eyebrow in concern. I quickly looked around the room, looking for loose clothing articles or anything else laying around.

"Nope, I have everything." I shrugged my shoulders. "Im gonna miss you shorty." I stared down at her with a small smile.

"I'll miss you too, now go see the world again." She patted my shoulder with a warm grin, "Jared should be here, or almost here." she shrugged her shoulders "You sure you're going to be okay?" she raised her eyebrow at me.

"Tessa, i'll be fine." I groaned, she was acting like mom on the first day of kindergarten. annoying.

"I'm just making sure youre alright, i'll go see if Jared is here." she forced me a smile walking out of the room. I sighed looking at the room ive spent so long in, everything looked so clean and neat, almost as if no one has been living in here for the past week. "Jared's in the front," Tessa popped her head in the doorway snapping me out of my train of thoughts, he actually showed up. I nodded picking up my bag following her out of the room and down the hall towards the main front desk, where there I saw Jared sitting in one of the chair bobbing his leg away anxiously.

"Well look who showed up," I forced him a smile, walking over to him slowly shoving my hands into my pockets. He looked up at me with a small nod, standing up instantly making me feel like I was actually the younger brother. "Let's just go." I cleared my throat breaking the silence that broke out in the room. I looked back at Tess behind the desk waving to her sadly, she waved back with a smile but you could tell it wasn't real. Jared and I pushed ourselves through the main doors getting hit in the face with the morning afternoon sunlight and the semi- fresh air. "So, did you ever plan on coming back to see me." I blurted out walking over to his suv parked along side the road.

"Jensen, it's not that I didn't want to come back. It's that I couldn't." He frowned at me, "Tessa and everyone thought It would be best for me to leave and wait till you were well enough to leave, to talk to you." he sighed heavily unlocking the doors, getting into the vehicle. I rubbed my eyes yanking open the door, getting inside slamming the door behind me.

"Whatever, can you update me on what's happening." I groaned, Jared laughed shaking his head.

"You just got out of the hospital for Christ sakes, you need to relax for a bit. Nothing new has been found, and if there was something new, I would tell you." Jared assured me starting the car, I nodded ignoring the fact that Jared is a terrible liar.


	10. Chapter 10

"Can we just go to the station?" I groaned looking over at Jared, he gave me a stern look quickly turning his focus back to the road infront of him.

"Jensen, you just got out of the hospital. Why can't you leave the case alone? I already told you we found nothing." Jared spat, rather harshly.

 

"You know why I cant just leave the case alone, Jared. You would be doing the exact same thing if I went missing, or if Gen went missing. Don't act like im crazy for wanting to spend every waking moment on this case." I hissed crossing my arms over my chest, Jared remained silent stopping at the red light a couple blocks from the station, I could walk.

"I'll just walk." I spat kicking open the door climbing out of it, slamming it harder than I thought behind me. "Thanks for getting me out," I hit the roof of his SUV. I spun around on my feet walking across the rest of the road to the sidewalk, seeing Jared get out of his vehicle throwing his hands in the air, yelling at me through all the cars honking at him for holding up the line at a green light, I ignored him.

I got looks from everyone, and I mean everyone. going from the kids on the street, people in the cars, homeless people laying along the sidewalk, everyone, Even the animals would stare at me.

The walk to the station was fairly quick, I after all was distracted most of the time by the uncomfortable stares. I breathed in slowly pulling open the front doors walking inside the nearly empty lobby.

"Jensen? You're back!" Alona dropped her coffee on the ground running over to me, pulling me into a hug that I thought I was going to get suffocated to death in. "Are you feeling okay? when did you get out? why are you here?" she rambled with the questions that kept coming and coming.

"I'm fine, I just need to see what we have on the case since I've been gone." I rubbed my eyes, looking down at her small body looking up at me. "Alona?" I raised my eyebrow waving my hand in front of her face.

"Oh, right sorry. We haven't gotten that much- are you sure you should be here?" She frowned shaking her head at me obviously disapproving of my decision to come back so soon. "I thought Jared was keeping you at his for a week after you got out?"

"No, he isn't. The case now please?" I sighed walking with her into the main office getting greeted by all the secretary's.

"Jensen? You fool what are you doing here?" Jim jumped out of his chair catching the attention of the others as I entered the meeting room.

"Nice to see you too, Jim." I smirked at him dragging my feet over to him, giving him a warm hug. "Missed those hugs," I chuckled patting his back pulling away from him, facing the anxious Lauren bobbing up at down until I pulled her into a hug.

"Im so glad you're okay!" She cheered with the widest smile spread across her lips, "what are you doing here?" she shook her head pulling away from me looking around the room.

"I came to check up on the case? where is it?" I raised my eyebrow feeling slightly concerned at how ghostly white Lauren and Jim's faces went. "Guy's?"

"Jensen, the case is closed, Im sorry." Osric walked into the room holding a coffee in his hand setting it down on the table. "We closed it last week, im sorry." Osric frowned at me, I balled my fists together glaring at him, stepping away from the others giving them looks of disgust.

"You closed it?" I hissed looking at Lauren who was nearly in tears, words could not express how angry I am. How could they just give up? why would they do that? are they trying to kill Misha? "Why!" I yelled taking Jim by surprise.

"Jensen-"

"How could you Lauren?" I chocked up, feeling tears drip down my face, "You know how much he meant to me!" I screamed, anger was taking me completely over now and I couldn't stop it. They gave up so easily. Tears continued to pour down my face as Jim struggled to support me from dropping to the floor.

"Jensen, im sorry." Lauren gushed beside me rubbing my back hugging the side of me, trying to comfort me, but nothing was going to comfort me, I felt like my entire world just came to an end.


	11. Chapter 11

"Can I get you anything else?" The waitress smiled brightly placing her hand on her hip, Lauren and Alona shook their heads. "Anything for you sir?"

 

"Ill take another whiskey," I looked up at her handing her my empty glass, I could feel Lauren and Alona's staring at me. "Make it strong!" I called after her as she strutted away, she looked over her shoulder with a smirk nodding. I sighed happily turning my head back to face Alona and Lauren, but all they were doing was staring at me, which was slightly uncomfortable. "What?" I snapped.

"You're drinking already?" Lauren grumbled concerned, I shrugged my shoulder looking down at the table in awe of the new drink that was placed in front of me. "Don't you think it's too soon?" She bit down on her lip, swirling her drink around in her glass.

"Don't you think it was too soon to give on Misha's case?" I slurred gulping back my drink slamming the glass on the table, taking her a back. "Huh? I think it was." I gave her a glare, she looked down at the table fiddling with her fingers.

"Jensen, we did everything we could to keep the case open." Alona blurted, looking at Lauren and then at me, "I didn't want to close the case and neither did Jim or Osric. Don't act like it was us that were in charge of it getting closed!" Alona snapped at me, slamming her hands down on the table, which I admit made me jump a little. "We did everything we could."

"Well, not hard enough." I growled getting out of the booth, walking through the restaurant that Alona and Lauren dragged me to, too avoid a argument in the station.

"Jensen, would you just wait!" Alona yelled after me, walking close behind me, "You can't just walk away like that!" She screamed walking out the restaurant doors.

"Watch me!" I spun around on my heel howling at her inches away from her face. "I'm leaving and you're going to leave me alone!" I spat walking down the street, shoving my hands in my pants pockets. "I'll just do this on my own then." I mumbled through gritted teeth crossing the road walking back to the station.

The stares and groans still continued as I walked down the streets, but none of it really got to me even though all I was to people was that drunk cop. I jogged up the couple steps leading to the front doors of the building, pushing myself through them.

"Welcome back Jensen," The secretary greeted me again, I forced them a smile giving them a small quick wave. I walked through the office scanning the area, Jim and Osric were still in the main office- talking from what it looked like. Good less shit to deal with. I sped past the office doors, fiddling with my keys in my fingers. I looked over my shoulders quickly unlocking the back doors leading to the filing room, I huffed pulling open the door slowly shutting it behind me; locking it. They would have moved the files in here a couple days ago, so they cant be that dusty already. I coughed into my elbow trying not to inhale all the dust and dirt that covered more than half of the boxes on the shelves. I flicked on the light switch, watching the room light up revealing more boxes near the back. I breathed in, sighing heavily walking down the aisle's of the shelves looking at every single name on each box I looked at.

"Finally," I groaned relived at the name Misha scribbled on a brown box at the top of one of the shelves, I stood up on my toes grabbing the bow pulling the lid off of it, it was defiantly Misha's. I smiled putting the lid back onto the box, walking back to the room doors unlocking them and quietly pulling it open, holding the box to my hip.

"Good-bye, Jensen!" The secretary called after me as I stormed through the lobby, I waved back at her jogging out the front doors, and down the steps. I walked down the street looking around me watching to see if anyone was driving by or following me, I looked down at the box being held against my side, I didn't expect to get out so easily, I at least expected people to question why I was in the filing room or taking a file home.

I walked down the street a couple blocks turning around the corner taking me to my house a couple feet away. I sighed in relief jogging up the steps pushing my door open, walking inside looking around me at the semi clean house. I huffed setting the box down on the ground, kicking off my shoes picking the box up again, walking in the living room setting the box back down on the coffee table pushing some old liquor bottles onto the floor. I sighed sitting down on the couch pulling the lid off the box putting it beside me as I scanned through the files, not much was in there other than Information about Misha, a bit about sheppard and a couple pictures of other scenes.

"Oh, Cmon. There has to be something in here." I ran my hand through my hair pulling out the pictures of the scenes scanning them. I sat there scanning them for hours and hours but still ended up with nothing, I groaned in frustration shoving my face into my hands breathing in and out slowly. I slapped my hands down on my thighs pushing myself up off the couch, walking into the kitchen to grab a beer to calm me down. "Oh c'mon!" I slammed the fridge door shut to avoid seeing the emptiness inside of it. "Get it together man," I hummed walking back into the living room, sitting back down and looking at the pictures. "Wait a second.." I cooed, staring at a small yellow tulip in the background of each picture. "tulips?" I questioned, thinking of places with tulips but every god damn house seems to have tulips, but not yellow ones. "Son of a bitch.." I growled pulling my phone out of my back pocket dialling Alona at the station.

"Jensen?-"

"Where in town does yellow tulips grow?" I cut her off quickly, walking to my door shoving my shoes on my feet running up stairs into my room where all my equipment was hidden.

"Yellow tulips? Jensen why-"

"Just tell me where they grow!" I snapped at her putting on my holster, loading my gun.

"Just outside of town, they grow by this old warehouse- Jensen what are you doing?" Alona sounded more serious and concerning now.

"Go there, and bring back up."


	12. Chapter 12

"Boss, He's on the move," A radio on the table across the room buzzed. Sheppard smirked twirling a knife in his fingers, walking towards the table setting the knife down, picking up the radio.

 

"Thank you, Lux." She spoke clearly into the radio looking directly at me with a sickening smirk crossing his lips. "Looks like your husband finally picked up my trail," He laughed shaking his head. "Stupid boy," He sighed fiddling with the knife on the table. "You would've thought that they would have found me by now, I made it so easy." Sheppard chuckled with a grin.

"He'll kill you." I snapped at his struggling to loosen the restraints placed on my arms and legs keeping me sitting in the chair. Sheppard rolled his eyes slashing the knife across my cheek, leaving a gash behind.

"Listen here son, the only people that are going to die tonight, is him and you." He hissed ripping off a piece of duck tape, placing it across my mouth. "Now, I hope you don't mind if I use this to slash your husbands throat." Sheppard held up the knife twirling it in his fingers, I wiggled under the ropes muffling curse words under the tape. He snickered turning around walking over to the table picking up the radio again, placing his finger on the button, "Lux, when you get here come to the chamber, I've got a little.. present for you." He smirked. I glared at him kicking the restraints in anger, swinging my head back in efforts to hold back the tears forming in my eyes. "Now now.. Don't worry Mish." Sheppard cooed pouring himself a glass of Morgan's. "I'll be back," he strolled out of the room sipping on his drink.

"Mmmmmm.." I groaned into the tape allowing tears to start falling down my face, maybe I had to start accepting the fact I was going to die. I didn't want to even begin thinking of that being how I end up leaving the world, but with these circumstances it was seeming to be the only way out of here.

"Ahh, Misha." Lux stepped in through the door with a smirk plastered on his lip's. "Wasn't expecting you to be the one in here, but im more than happy you are." He shut the door behind him. "I would say that you should be happy im going to kill you instead of Shep, but in this case, not so much. You killed my friend, and now im going to kill you as slowly as possible." He chuckled walking in front of me pulling out a machete from his holster on his side. "I see Shep already had his go at you," He dragged the machete across my stomach watching blood pour lightly from it. I groaned in pain clenching my fists to relieve some of the pain inflicted on me. "Let's take this off, makes it more fun." he ripped the tape off my lips, leaving a stinging sensation around my mouth. I glared at him opening my mouth to say something but the only thing that came out of my mouth was blood and a whimper. "That's what I like to see,"

"Go to hell," I hissed, spiting in his face. He squeezed his eye's shut, dragging his hand across his face wiping off the delightful spit I left on it. He sighed heavily swinging his fist, knocking me across the jaw. I cursed under my breath as he grabbed my face so I was staring at him.

"You're walking on a tight rope here kid." He slammed my head back into the head board behind me. "I'll be back." He growled stomping his way out of the room. I breathed out slowly, trying to breathe without getting the pain in my chest I've been getting.

"Misha, thank god you're still alive!" A Light brown haired boy walked out from behind me quickly with a small knife in hand. "My names, Gabriel, we're getting out of here!" Gabriel whispered quietly sawing at the leather straps placed around my wrists and ankles. "Can you walk?" He asked sawing at the final strap on my ankle, I nodded replying with a faint yes. "Great, let's go." He rose to his feet, helping me out of the chair.

"Do you know a way out of here?" I asked remembering the route to my last attempted escape. He nodded quickly peeking his head around the corner looking both ways for Sheppard or Lux.

"Just follow me and pick up anything that can be used as a weapon." Gabriel looked over his shoulder at me, I nodded looking around on the floor but nothing was on it that would cause damage to someone. "Wait, be quiet." Gabriel slapped his arm in front of me, sliding up against the dirty wall, taking a quick glance around the corner, returning immediately. "Shit!" He hissed.

"What?" I questioned trying to move around him to look around the corner, but I was slapped back against the wall.

"What are you doing? You're going to get us killed! just listen.." Gabriel glared, I nodded swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Jensen, should be on his way, if not already here." Sheppard spoke down the hall into his phone, his words bouncing off the walls. I couldn't help but let a small smile creep onto my lips, I knew he would find me.

"Well well... Look what we have here." Lux spoke behind us, I spun around with wide eye's shoving Gabriel to move forward, just missing the hands on Lux reaching out to grab us.

"Go go go!" I yelled sprinting down the hall, slipping around the corner with Lux right on our tail. "Turn left!" I yelled last minute in hopes to catch Lux off guard not giving him enough time to turn. 

"Yes!" Gabriel yelled with joy pumping his fist in the air like a mad man. I grinned wildly continuing to sprint down the hall with Gabriel, But came to an abrupt stop with gun shots ricocheting through the hallways. I gasped for air hitting the ground, slamming my head against the hard cement floor with gab riels body crashing on top of mine, crushing my lungs.

"Hello Boy's." I raised my head at the smirking Sheppard standing in front of me.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter is next ooooo

I drove down the silent dark road leading roughly 15 minutes out of town towards the warehouse. Jo should have gotten back up coming, not that far behind me. Knowing her, her and the whole team is probably joining along with the back up. I turned down the dirt trail leading down to the warehouse, killing my lights when I saw the building in sight.

 

"How much fencing do you need, god damn." I muttered staring at the fence which looked like 7 feet tall, going around the whole warehouse. I breathed in slowly loading my gun and getting out of the car slowly making my way around the fence looking for an opening. "Son of a bitch.." I growled kneeling down staring at the only entrance I could find, which just so happened to be surrounded by guards. Plan B, I thought to myself walking back towards the car, so they wouldn't hear me and begun climbing the fence falling to the other side. I groaned staring down at the large body laying on the ground about a foot away from me, it looked like it just got thrown out like it was nothing, but to sheppard whoever this was, probably was a nothing. I rose to my feet holding the gun out in front of me, making my way to the door located on the side of the building. I pressed myself up against the wall taking a deep breath in before slowly pulling open the door stepping inside before it closed.

My footsteps echoed throughout the hallway, the silence was making me insane. I peeked around the corner making sure it was clear before making my way down it, I adjusted my grip on my gun squeezing it a little tighter looking into each room as I passed them, it seemed like there was hundreds. I gulped back a lump in my throat listening to the voices ricochet off the walls, and into my ears giving me a chance to trace where the voices were coming from. I breathed in slowly last room, I held my gun to my chest looking over my shoulder into the light up room with a chair splat in the middle.

"Misha Baby!" I ran towards Misha laying on the ground next to some kid with blood covering his skin. "Baby, wake up, im here." I smiled patting his cheeks until he opened his eye's. "Hey baby," I grinned peeling the duck tape off of his dry chapped lips.

"You need to get out of here, now." Misha spoke quickly nearly in tears looking around him every 5 seconds. "Get out!" Misha cried trying to push me away from him, I shook my head furiously grabbing his arms holding him still.

"I am not leaving you again do you understand me!" I hissed, Misha nodded embracing me in a warm hug. "I've missed you so much-" I pressed my lips against his as if I was starving for months.

"We need to go," Misha groaned trying to stand but just collapsed back onto the floor. I extended my arm pulling him to his feet, walking quickly with him towards the door entrance. "Wait- we cant leave him!" Misha stopped in his tracks trying to pull me back towards the kid younger than Misha, by the looks of it.

"Mish, we can't we don't have time- Hide." I pushed him into a corner behind a table, quickly following after him watching sheppard walk into the room with one of his helpers.

"Sir, Misha is gone." The helper spoke up standing beside the other boy laying on the ground.

"We'll find him Lux, he knows he can't hide." Sheppard swished around some crown royal in a glass, sipping it back. "In the meantime, this will teach him not to run away again. wake him up." Sheppard ordered, Lux nodded kicking the boy until he was awake.

"Oh-Oh my god please no- im sorry!" He cried once he focused on the gun being pointed at his head. BANG His body dropped to the floor in one split second. I could feel Misha shaking in my arms, holding back his tears at what he just witnessed.

"Look for the boy, and if you see him or Jensen, or hell maybe even both. Call me and ill come." Sheppard walked towards the rooms doors, stopping in the entrance. "Take care of that body while you're at it." Sheppard demanded as he walked out of the room, leaving Lux behind to clean up his mess.

"Stay here." I whispered peeling Misha off me carefully, crawling out from underneath the table and tip toeing over to the tray grabbing a knife, flipping it in my fingers. I breathed in heavily slicing the knife into Lux's back, slapping my other hand over his mouth in one swish motion, watching his body drop to the floor. "Let's go baby," I jogged back over to Misha, shaking in the corner.

"They killed him-" Misha shook staring at the body of his friend laying on the floor, I frowned pulling him out of the room trying to remember what way I came in through.

"Hey stop!" A tall man yelled behind us, his foot steps getting closer and closer to us with every second.

"Cmon!" I yelled dragging Misha down halls and into rooms trying to get away from him. I turned into a room last minutes catching the man off guard, taking off down the hallway turning into a random room shutting the door behind me. "We should be safe here." I huffed pressing myself against the wall.

"Well looks like the fly just landed in the web." A deep chuckle rose from behind us with the clinks of glasses hitting one another, I spun around pulling Misha behind me holding my gun out in front of me. "Thought you'd never show up," Sheppard turned sipping back on a drink. I remained silent shooting daggers at his head. "Not much of a talker? fair enough." Sheppard rocked back and forth on his feet, the man didn't look that much older than me, maybe 4 years older. 

 

"Why are you killing people?" My serious expression never left my face, Sheppard smirked sipping back the last of his drink setting the empty glass back on the small table in the corner. 

 

"Why not?" He shrugged picking up a stick looking object, fiddling with it in his fingers. "You look confused, Jensen?" Sheppard walked towards us holding the object out. I moved along the wall, moving Misha quickly behind me. "This is probably the sharpest knife, you will ever see and experience in your life." He smirked evilly giving me the chills. Misha clung onto me digging his nails into my back, making me shift uncomfortably. "Your husband knows what it feels like." My grip around the gun tightened, im going to kill him. 

 

"You son of a bitch." I growled, lunging at Sheppard knocking him off his feet and onto the ground underneath me. I pointed the gun at him, tightening my grip around the trigger, before Sheppard punched it out of my hands kicking me off him across the room swinging the knife out in front of him, nipping the side of my cheek. I groaned shaking the pain off, getting caught off guard by another tall man walking in the room and up behind Misha, Grabbing him. "Misha!" I yelled, Sheppard lunged at me slicing the side of me open. 

 

"You can't win this fight, Jensen." The accent in his voice strong now that he was angry. He swung his fists at me, decking me in the jaw, grabbing my shirt and throwing me into the small table, my weight crushing it underneath me. I coughed getting up slowly out of the broken wood and glass pile underneath me. I breathed in staring at Misha struggling under the taller mans grip, his hand clapped over his mouth and his other arm pressing a knife against his neck. I gulped staring at the gun laying a foot away from me, I could get that easy. 

 

I huffed jumping across the ground reaching for the gun but Sheppard foot collided with my face knocking me off track. I groaned rolling on my back, yelping in pain with sheppard foot pressing down on my wrist holding it in place as he knelt down beside me pressing the knife against my throat, cutting it so lightly, but enough to cause me pain. 

 

"I could waste these bullets on distinguishing you, but I think ill use them on him instead." Sheppard gripped the gun looking down at me with a smirk making me sick. "Drop him." Sheppard rose to his feet again kicking me repeatedly in the sides keeping me down on the ground no matter how hard I tried to get up off the floor to get Misha. 

 

"Please-" Misha cried landing on the floor holding his hands up in front of his face. I shook my head gasping for air, watching Sheppard walk away from me clicking the gun and pointing it at Misha. His whimpers filled my head, giving me a short amount of adrenaline, enough to get up and jump in front of Misha as Sheppard pulled the trigger. "Jensen!" Misha cried with my limp body collapsing on top of him. 

 

"Freeze!" Alona yelled bursting into the room with officers following close in behind her. Alona stared down at me with anger smearing across her face as she pulled the trigger sending a bullet straight through Sheppards head. 

 

"Jensen, wake u-up" Misha cried with his tears hitting my face, peppering kisses all over my face. "Please don't leave me." he sobbed, I groaned in agony feeling the blood leaking out of me, seeing Alona and jims face hovering over top of me, applying pressure on my bullet wound. 

 

"Get a medic!" Osric yelled at the officers nearest to the doors, "go look for others!" Osric ordered the other officers standing around watching Alona and Jim try to save my life. 

 

"Jensen, Hang in there ya idjit." Jim patted my face, shaking me keeping me awake, but the light kept on getting closer and closer to my eye's. 

 

"Help me get him in the stretcher!" Osric yelled forcing Misha to let go of me, so he could get his arms under mine lifting me off the ground and onto the padded stretcher. 

 

"M-Misha-" I groaned holding my hand out for Misha to grab onto, Misha scattered to his feet gripping my hand holding onto it for dear life. 

 

"Im here baby boy." He smiled through the tears falling from his eyes and onto my arm. I grinned weakly being taken out of the warehouse with him walking quickly by my side, and Alona, and Osric staying behind to help the others while Jim followed the stretcher close behind, getting into the ambulance with us. "Hang in there Baby.." Misha squeezed my hand tightly, leaning his head on Jims shoulder with tears flowing down his cheeks. 

 

"He's going out get the shock charge ready!" the medics yelled, Misha shot up being held back away from me as they cut open my shirt placing two pads on my chest shocking me. I gasped for air trying to pull myself out of the white light consuming me but I couldn't pull myself out. 

 

"M-Misha" I forced out of my mouth struggling to breathe, Misha forced himself past the medic holding him away from me putting his hand back in mine squeezing it tighter than before. "I-im sorry-y" I cried through the pain, I didn't want to die. "I love you-u so much-h" I sobbed staring up into his ocean blue eyes with red surrounding them.

 

"Jensen, you can do this. please don't leave me-e" Misha stuffed his face into my side, his tears dripping onto my shirt. "I need you." he whimpered. 

 

"Were here, lets go, let's go!" The medics jumped out of the ambulance pulling me out after them, with Misha and Jim following beside me. "We need a room!" They yelled running past the front desk towards the emergency rooms. Misha's hand slipped out of mine as I was rolled down the hall into a room for surgery. 

 

"Where's Misha-" I croaked

 

"He's not allowed back here, you'll see him after. Hang in there sir." He slipped a mask overtop of my mouth, the whiteness engulfing me.


	14. Chapter 14

"Why can't I see him yet." I stood up out of my chair, yelling at the doctor standing in front of me in charge of Jensen's recovery. "It's been over 4 hours, I want to see him!"

"Sir, im sorry. I'm trying my best to get you in there, now--" He got cut off by his emergency beeper sounding off like an alarm. "I'll be back." he turned on his heel quickly walking out of the waiting room without another word.

"For fuck sakes!" I snapped throwing my hands up in the air frustrated. Alona stood up wrapping her arm around my shoulder pulling me into a light hug, knowing that I was still in pain from everything.

"Let's sit down, alright Misha." She spoke softly in my ear leading me back over to my chair, sitting down with me. I bit down on my lip trying to hold in the tears that were begging to come out now, but I could feel them start to drip down my cheeks. "It'll be okay, he'll be okay." She rubbed my back pulling me closer to her. I whimpered digging my face into her shoulder, gasping for breathes during sobs.

"Lauren, Alona. Why don't you ladies go get something to eat, and let me and Misha have a second together." Jim handed Lauren a 20, she nodded with a sigh taking Alona out of the waiting room with her. I looked over at Jim, with my tear stained face, wanting to cry more after seeing the man finally showing an emotion; sadness. "You know, when you were missing he never stopped looking for you. You were all he ever thought about, The damn boy wouldn't even go in his damn house without you. When he did, the idjit nearly got himself killed, because the thought of you not being there with him drove him insane." Jim poured his soul into what he was saying, his face showed every emotion known to man.

"I just want to be able to see him again." I whimpered, Jim sighed with a frown moving into the seat Alona was sitting in, pulling me into a warm hug rubbing my back.

"You will see him again, he's Jensen, he'll be alright." Jim reassured me, I nodded wiping my tears off on his shirt.

"Misha, you can see him now." The doctor walked back into the waiting room, clip board in hand. "I need to tell you all this now, we have no clue when or if Jensen will ever wake up again. He's had over 6 seizures all within the surgery and when in the recovery room." He frowned, I could feel my heart rip in half at those words, and the tears start to fall again. "Unfortunately, we are only allowing family at this time. So Misha, if you would follow me." I shot up out of my seat looking back at Jim sitting in the waiting room chair staring at the ground.

"Will he be okay." I broke the silence between me and the doctor as we walked down the hallway quietly.

"He's not looking too good right now, if he wants to live he has to start fighting harder. His body isn't going to be able to handle these seizures for much longer." He sighed turning the corner, into the emergency care part of the hospital. "Here he is," The doctor opened up a door to one of the rooms allowing me to enter first. My heart dropped as I saw my husband, pale and weak, laying in the hospital bed motionless. "I'll leave you two alone." The doctor mumbled walking out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I chocked up on tears, walking over to him laying peacefully in the bed, taking hold of his cold hand, intertwining our fingers together.

"You're gonna be okay, Baby. You can do this, just keep fighting. I love you." I struggled to say between sobs, "You can not give up on me... I love you, you're all I have left..." I sobbed into the side of his bed, leaving tears stains on his bed sheets. I felt his grip tighten around my hand, giving it a light squeeze. I grinned through the tears falling down my face, he was the most beautiful human being I had every laid eyes on. "Do you remember that time, back in high school? You were on the football team and I was the A+ Nerd that everyone made fun of, but you didn't? Well that made my world, Jensen." I lifted his hand up to my lips pressing a small kiss on top of it. "You were the only person who treated me like a normal human being, and I don't know how to repay you for that, but ill do anything for you if you wake up. I love you." I sniffled rubbing his hand with my thumb. I could feel a hand on my shoulder, but no one was in the room except Jensen and I. "Thanks," I whispered knowing it was him.

I shot my head up, staring at all the monitors going off like alarms. Jensen was shaking abruptly in his head, I jumped back searching for the emergency button, pressing it quickly once I found it located on the side of the bed. The tears were coming back as I watched him continue to shake, and the monitors continuing to go off.

"Misha, we need you out of the room." The doctor and 2 nurses rushed into the room, the doctor and one nurse quickly attending to Jensen, while the 3rd nurse fought to drag me out of the room.

"I can't leave him- wait!" I yelled with the room door being shut in my face, I clapped my hand overtop of my mouth muffling the noises that were coming out of my mouth as I watched what was happening through the room window. "C'mon Jensen." I murmured, watching his shaking starting to stop and the monitors returning to normal. But the nurses and Doctor quickly pulled his bed away from the way un hooking him from all the machines, and attaching a new IV to him hanging it above his head on a hook connected to the bed as the rolled him out of the room and down the hall quickly ignoring me yelling at them for answers.

"I'm going to have to ask you to go back to the waiting room." a nurse grabbed my arm dragging me down the hall and ditched me when we got to the waiting room. Jim's head shot up staring at me with confusion.

"He keep's getting siezures and he just had one and they rolled him out of the room and into the surgery room and I don't know what's going on-" I collapsed on the floor covering my face with my hands, sobbing violently. Lauren and Alona dropped to the ground out of their chairs tending to me, pulling me into a hug.

"He's going to be okay," Lauren whispered.

"They said his body can't keep fighting much longer-" I croaked shaking in their arms.

"Do you want something to eat?" Alona pulled away from the hug, crawling back over to her chair bringing over a non touched sandwich. I accepted her offering, leaving her half so she had something left.

"Thank you." I mumbled, pulling myself somewhat together, crawling into one of the chairs beside Jim.

"Osric, said he would be here soon. The news is bombarding him, with questions by the warehouse." Jim shook his head, I nodded understandingly.

"Im here!" Osric slid around the corner, into the waiting room. "Misha, Buddy hey." He walked up to me quickly pulling me out of my chair and embracing me in a warm hug. "He'll be alright," He mumbled into my ear, pulling away from me. "Sorry I couldn't be here sooner. News followed me all the way out here, security is keeping them out." He sighed heavily sitting down beside Alona.

"Were there any people left?" I questioned taking my seat again.

"3 girls and 2 boys, that's it." Osric frowned, I nodded sinking back into my chair. If I stopped Sheppard, maybe Gabriel would be alive and at the hospital getting treated too. But he's dead, no thanks to me.

"You can come see him again," The doctor walked into the waiting room with his surgical equipment still on him, I nodded standing to my feet slowly. I followed the doctor back to Jensen's room, staring at the pale boy laying in the bed. "We have done all we can for him, he has to fight this on his own now." The doctor frowned deeply walking in the room with me, I sniffled nodding looking down at the almost lifeless Jensen.

"Thank you," I wiped a tear from my face, looking at him. He nodded patting my back lightly.

"Please, call me if he acts up again or if you need anything. We are going to have to check you over later for injuries." I nodded reluctantly, even though I felt I was fine. "I'm going to go talk to your friend's about what's going on, i'll send in any others from his family in when they arrive."

"thank you." I thanked him although I wanted to argue with him, everyone in that waiting room was his family and they should be in here with him. He walked out of the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. "Hey baby boy." I mumbled with a small smile crossing my lips, I sat back down in the chair beside his bed, tangling my hand in his rubbing it with my thumb.

"Misha-" Jared slowly opened the room door, looking just as bad as me. "Im so glad you're okay, oh god im so sorry-" He stormed into the room walking up to me. I rose out of my seat pulling him into a tight warm hug, feeling his breathing hitch every couple seconds. "I shouldn't have let them shut the case down.." He mumbled sadly. I was new to this news, I had no clue that my case got closed.

"It's fine, im just happy im still alive." I pat his back, pulling away from him. He nodded looking down at me with a weak grin.

"How's he doing?" Jared pulled up a chair beside me, and beside the bed so he could keep a good eye on his brother. "Looks like he's seen a damn ghost." Jared giggled, trying to lighten up our moods but both of us knew that our moods weren't going to lighten. I slid my hand back into Jensen's giving it a light squeeze, feeling the lightest of a squeeze back.

"He squeezed my hand-" I smiled, nearly in tears with joy. Jared smiled staring happily at his brother.

"That's my brother, c'mon Dean you can do this." Jared put his hand on Jensen's shoulder, rubbing it lightly. "Mom and Dad'll be here soon to see you." Jared smiled lightly, I stared down at Jensen with the lightest smile. I continued rubbing his hand with my thumb, soothing him being as I would get a faint squeeze if I stopped moving my thumb. We sat in silence for minutes, which seemed like hours. Not taking our eye's off Jensen, looking at his monitors every minute to make sure things were well.

"Jensen- oh goodness." Mary walked into the room with John following silently behind her. "Misha- oh my god-" She didn't give me time to stand up before she engulfed me in a hug from behind, with her arms wrapped around my neck and her head buried into the back of my shoulder. "How are you feeling?" She pestered me with questions, I brushed most of them off.

"Im alright, thank you." I stared at her, she nodded adding a smile to her face.

"Oh my boy, what have you gotten yourself into." John walked around to the other side of the bed, hands in his pockets looking down at his son.

"He saved my life," I mumbled, staring up at John. John made eye contact with me, his angry face softening. "I own him everything,"

"He always did put others, before himself." Mary gave a lop sided smile, placing her hand on my knee giving it a light squeeze.

"He looks paler than a ghost," John grumbled, Jared chuckled faintly with a nod. Jensen was fairly white, whiter than he should be really; but I guess walking the tightrope of death does that to you. "I remember the day, Jensen introduced me to you. I wanted to shoot his brains out for not being into girls, but the idea of him being with you Cas, it warmed up to me." John admitted with a the slightest of a smile spread across his lips.

"Thank you, for not shooting his brains out." I looked up at him with a quiet giggle. "And not killing me for being with him." John shrugged his shoulders.

"Contemplated killing you a couple times, but I saw how much Jensen cared about you." John sighed sitting down in a chair behind him.

"I talked him out of killing you both, basically." Mary mumbled into my ear, I snickered lightly. "I've never seen Jensen as happy as he is with you, then with anyone else." Mary smiled at me, kissing the side of my head making my heart happy knowing that his family actually liked me and approved of me being with their son.

"His monitors are going up." Jared started sitting up in his seat, nearly on the end of it. I snapped my head over to the monitors watching his breathing rates go through the roof. "Jensen, take it easy." Jared called out at him, but his monitors still went off.

"Not again," I shook my head squeezing his hand tightly, "C'mon baby, fight against it." I started crying again.

"M-mish-" Jensen croaked faintly, my mouth gaped open as I squeezed his hand with happy tears flowing down my face.

"Don't talk, take it easy baby-" I smiled down at him, hovering beside him.

"M-mish, I-I can-t do thi-s" Jensen struggled to speak with a tears dripping down the sides of his face. "It H-hurts-" his breath hitched.

"Jared, go get a doctor!" Mary cried out to Jared, who jumped out of his seat rushing out of the room screaming for a doctor. I never let go of Jensen's hand, people would have to kill me for me to let go.

"Hold on baby" Mary brushed the side of his face with her hand, she lightly shook his head squeezing my hand as tightly as he could with the pain flowing throughout his body getting worse.

"C'mon son." John hovered over him, getting pushed back from him a little bit from the doctors trying to get to the monitors. "Don't give up!" John yelled at him.

"I-im sorry-y" Jensen sobbed tilting his head at me with a quivering lip, I shook my head using my thumb to wipe away one of his tears falling freely down his cheek. "I l-love you" He mumbled struggling to speak.

"I love you too, Baby boy." A tear dropped from my face onto his cheek, I hated seeing the amount of pain he was in. "Let go baby, Don't hold on for me, this is hurting you to much." Jared started crying realizing what I was doing, Jensen needed to let go. He was in too much pain, it killed me telling him to go, and that ill be fine.

"Im s-sorry" he gasped for air, tears flowing down his face. I sobbed over top of him, rubbing my thumb across his cheek.

"Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. Let go baby, you don't have to be in pain." I whimpered, his grip around my finger loosening. "I love you, Jensen." I kissed his forehead, listening to the humming of the monitor going into a straight beep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last chapter

"Jensen, please stop running around, it's late and past your bed time." I called after Jensen, waddling up and down the hall back and forth form the kitchen into the living room.  
"If you don't stop you're going to bed right now without seeing daddy," I raised my eyebrow with a small smirk, watching him stop abruptly and give me a look. "Calm down," I yawned, he nodded walking over to me, climbing up onto the couch and into my lap fiddling with my locket around my neck.  
"Who's that?" Jensen asked, popping open the locket staring at the picture of Jensen and I in it. Jen, never knew who Jensen was, he only knew him as the man that I used to be with all the time; like best friends.   
"That's someone very important to me, you were named after him." I smiled down at Jensen, who was smiling at the locket. "You would have loved him," I ruffled his hair.  
"What happened to him?" Jensen furrowed his little eyebrows, with a small frown on his face.  
"He died saving me from someone, he died a hero to me." I smiled, Jensen smiled wrapping his arms around my neck hugging me tightly.  
"Im glad he saved you." Jensen spoke softly into my ear, I nodded. "Can we watch sponge bob now?" He pulled away from me, pointing behind him at the TV hung up on the wall.  
"Yeah, we can." I grinned flicking on the TV, switching it to the kids channel where sponge bob was on every night at 10. I breathed out, closing the locket around my neck, before giving Jensen one last look before I closed it. I remember like it was yesterday, Jensen and I had just gotten married and planned on adopting a child. But he went into the force and the adoption center didn't think it would be a stable environment, so they denied us. I was heart broken, but Jensen helped me through it and said we can try again soon, and we did; We got accepted. Although Jensen never lived long enough to meet our little ray of sunshine.  
"Daddy!" Jensen yelled at Alastair opening the door, with a smile on his face.  
"Hey sport, were you good for daddy?" Alastair laughed picking Jensen up, kissing the top of his head. I smiled watching Jensen smile and laugh, it was the most beautiful thing. "He good?" Alastair set Jensen down on the ground, kicking his shoes off and peeling off his coat, hanging it up on the hook.  
"Yeah, he was good. A little loud sometimes, but he was good." I grinned down at Jensen climbing up onto the couch, back onto my lap while Alastair flopped down beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders.  
"What you guy's do today?" He raised his eyebrow, I looked down at Jensen expecting him to answer, which he did.  
"We make a cake, and went on a walk and then we watched lots of SpongeBob!" Jensen yelled swinging his hands in the air. Alastair and I laughed listening to his stories he was telling about his day, which were rather funny, Just because they came from a 4 year old.  
"Sounds like you two had fun! but it's past your bed time, so let's go champ." Alastair groaned getting up off the couch, picking Jensen up off the couch and putting him on his shoulders. "You coming up or staying down here? I wont be long." He stopped at the bottom of the stairs, staring back at me.  
"Your turn to put him in bed this time." I winked, He rolled his eye's walking up the steps making air plane noises, their laugher filled with Joy, reminded me so much of Jensen's laugh, his laugh was the most joyful thing in existence. I sighed pulling myself up off the couch, walking over to the fire place, where picture of me and Jensen were straight across the top.  
"He was a great man," Alastair mumbled from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, placing small kisses on my shoulder.  
"I know he was," I smiled at the photos, dragging my finger across his face. I never got many photos of Jensen and I, but the one's we did have were the most valuable artifact I owned. They kept the memory of him alive in my mind, although he has never left my mind since the day I met him.  
"He would be so proud of you, if he was here Misha." Alastair grumbled, I shook my head.  
"He's never left, he's always with us."


End file.
